Hello, is it me you're looking for?* No. Awkward. Perhaps you're looking for an early Valentine's Day cupcake then?
Now, if you've known me for a while, you're probably wondering why all the normality? These are very proper cupcakes! How nice, you may think, River has finally grown up and left her silly shenanigans behind.
Sorry, I didn't mean to call you a fool or yell at you with complete disregard for basic grammar. I got caught in the moment and the trash-talk just sort of happened.
Shortbread dudes and dudettes! Of course. If I ever run out of silly, please punch me in the face until I snap out of it. Thanks.
Oh no. What's going on in the background there? Is somebody feeling grumpy?
^^Don't mind if I do, buddy. Don't mind if I do.
Not everybody is going to be happy this Valentine's Day. If you're one of this year's Valentine's Day boycotters, you may be better off baking some anti-romance cupcakes than going around kicking happy people in the groin all day.
Eat a cupcake, save a horny person!
These are the VCTOTW chocolate cupcakes and chocolate buttercream. All over the top, I sprinkled some chocolate curls, ribbons, and shavings that I made with a chocolate bar and a potato peeler. This is the cookie recipe that I used, but I replaced half of the sugar with powdered sugar to make a more tender shortbread (thanks for the tip, Mihl!). I ended up with an assortment of about forty mini cookies, including the little dudes, hearts, stars, and circles. If you don't have a mini gingerbread man cookie cutter, you can stick any shape of cookie you like on top of your cupcakes. Exhibit A:
I used an Americolor Gourmet Writer food-coloring pen to write the little messages on the shortbread people, but I can't link to the product because the company's website is under construction. Here's a cached version of their home page.
If these are not silly enough for you, check out the trusty old Strawberry Love Bugs of yore! Many thanks to everyone who has ever linked to the original recipe here on my blog. And to those of you who decided to make them and claim them as your own original idea - I am giving you the stinkeye for being such a Lamey McLamerson.
That's all folks! Now somebody call 911 because I am off to murder a chocolate cupcake in cold blood - or in cold buttercream!
* Young'uns and time-travelers from the 1800s: "Hello, is it me you're looking for?" is from an '80s ballad by Lionel Richie called "Hello". Video link. You're welcome.