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Saturday, September 5, 2015

Vegan MoFo: I Invented a Sandwich!

I invented a sandwich! Please, please, save your applause for after I reveal my brilliant creation. Today's Vegan MoFo prompt is "best sandwich ever," so here is my gift to you.

You are welcome.

I found myself with nothing to eat but a couple of slices of bread, a little bit of peanut butter, and some strawberry jelly. What was I to do? I had to get creative and make the best of what I had. I thought about it for a while, and then suddenly out of nowhere an idea popped into my head - make a sandwich with the peanut butter and the jelly! Here's how to assemble my original invention:

Start with two slices of bread.

I invented a sandwich!


Spread peanut butter all over one of the slices. If your bread is very "holey" you may want to spread peanut butter over both slices to keep the other filling (next step) from escaping through the holes.

I invented a sandwich!

Now spread your choice of jelly or jam over the other slice of bread, or straight over the peanut butter if you want your fillings to really mingle like mine.

I invented a sandwich!

Are you following this? I know it's a little complex, but the result is phenomenal, if I may say so myself. Now flip one slice of bread over the other.

I invented a sandwich!

I invented a sandwich!

And you're done! Isn't it a fantastic idea? It's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Who knew those two ingredients would be so delicious together! I thought I'd call it a PB&J (TM) sandwich for short, which is cute and totally me. Thank you, thank you, yes, I know I am a creative genius. Please, stop! You're making me blush! Anyone could have thought of it, really. Although it WAS all me.

Please, do leave me all kinds of comments praising my ingenuity and telling me what a unique sandwich this is. And how amazing I am for creating it. Flattery fuels my genius, so we both win. Well, I must retreat to my "mind palace" now so I can come up with new ideas with which to knock your socks off.

Au revoir.

...........................

Oh, the silliness!

This blog post is dedicated to all of you who have ever had your creative ideas plagiarized by some assbutt blogger who shamelessly claimed to be the actual mastermind behind your culinary creations. It's hard to keep putting our original work out there when someone takes something that we conceived and are proud of, and they claim it as their own invention. I'm not talking about a simple recipe for a burrito or a chocolate cake because most of those are bound to have similar ingredients, I am talking about those times when what is plagiarized is something personal.

To those of you who do go around the interwebs stealing people's ideas - we know what you're doing! Everyone knows what you're doing! Yes, you there, in the back! I can see you taking notes and trying to steal my PB&J sandwich idea! Go away!

For those of you who don't go around snatching people's ideas, here's a picture of my computer buddy (not my pup, I was just puppy-sitting) resting his little chin on my desk. I thought he looked a bit uncomfortable so I gave him a tiny chin-pillow. He seemed to approve.


13 comments:

  1. I hope someone didn't steal something of yours? If they did point me in their direction so I can drop kick them into a sewerage plant!

    In the meantime, I am going to print out this post and stick it on my fridge, so I will always have the instructions ready to make this culinary masterpiece! ;)

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  2. Yep. Some of my old Halloweegan stuff and also the old Strawberry Lovebugs have had their honor violated by other bloggers and even by a magazine! You never get used to it, or at least I don't. But next time it happens I'm just going to visualize you drop kicking people and it's going to make it all better! :D

    Yes, definitely print this out and keep it handy. It may take you a few times to truly master this recipe, but when you do you will have a fine sandwich in your hands! You're welcome.

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  3. I applauded all through your genius sandwich creating - crescendo to the finish! You bring up valid frustration to the douche baggery that happens in these creative spaces, freely sharing your art on the internet and having it co-oped with no credit sucks. It's ridiculous how much it happens! Haha but in ones 'Mind Palace' who knows what is brewed and reborn ;) I do believe in karma, try to take the high road.

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  4. I'm so sorry you've been the victim of blogger plagiarism :( But this post was very funny with the PBJ. Hang in there, River!

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  5. It happens so often! The first couple of times it happened to me I was furious! I couldn't believe it. Now it has happened so many times that I actually expect it. Last year Mr. Wing-It and I were in a grocery store in Michigan while we were traveling, and I walked by the magazine rack only to see my old Strawberry Lovebugs featured on the front page of a magazine! That was pretty shocking. There is also a big online publication that does this kind of thing often. You are right about karma. One of these days they are going to lift content from a blogger who can actually afford to hire a lawyer and they're going to be in trouble! In the meantime, let us retreat to our mind palace and enjoy a nice, plagiarism-free Sunday. :)

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  6. Thanks, Liz! I'm glad you enjoyed the PBJ humor! Blogger plagiarism is so frustrating! Humor always seems to make things a bit more tolerable. :)

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  7. A magazine? That sucks on so many levels. I hope you sent them a bill! You really should because stuff like that just isn't cool.

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  8. I should have! Plagiarism is a main reason why I have recycled old Halloweegan ideas in the past few years instead of doing something new. Another main reason is that my mojo seems to have deserted me! :)

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  9. Haha, I love the point you get across. I, too, have felt the sting of plagiarism and stealing photos from my craft blog. I recently wrote a post about it as well. But wow, to see your work on the front of a magazine! As if they are above asking for permission?? Cruel!

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  10. I'm sorry you too have been a victim of plagiarism! It's no fun, is it? Why do people actually do that, I wonder? It's weird! I remember seeing something funny on Pinterest that said "trying to understand some people is like trying to smell the color nine" or something like that. So true! :)

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  11. I found the pin! It still makes me laugh! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/513199320011700957/

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  12. You are genius. PB & jam together, on one sandwich?? who'd a thunk it!

    Seriously though, I'm lucky that I'm not really creative enough to be plagiarised but it makes me so angry when it happens to other bloggers!

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  13. Sorry I missed your comment, Sal! Thank you, yes, I am a genius. I am now working on a new recipe that consists of sweet peanut butter in a hard chocolate shell. I'll be calling it a "peanut butter cup." Brilliant! :D

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